March 24

for it was written

and the word was dipiditofgivkrieg and it was a homoeopathic cure for my ills, which were a lack of things beginning with K

remarkable in a dream since one is not meant to be able to read and I read this quite clearly

Unfortunately I was also very gay and very anxious, but one can't have everything in a dream!

02:48 AM | 0 Comments
February 10

Death impacts

Death does tend to dent one when it touches those around one.

Aero and I just in the process of taking a battering since the death of her sister last week.

Meanwhile I am facing up to life after analysis, though no doubt I will need therapy to deal with that (!)

DG's makeover is almost complete with the addition of blue pedals.... whenever I manage to wear out the original tyres and fit the blue striped ones I shall have to make "before and after" pictures post.

I recently realised that my ingrained misogyny issues are really (going to?) impact me when my daughter grows up - at least I can try to be mindful while she grows and hopefully through this mitigate impacts on her.

More geeky news is the thrilling prospect of "coding Wednesdays" to get the recycling app online after a year or two languishing

And I am at least for the time being desisting abilify (aripiprezole) after finding the side effects (particularly weight gain) intolerable.....

06:07 AM | 0 Comments
January 18

bye bye analyst hello dreams

seems that as I roll closer to t he end of January and my conclusion with the analyst I have been seeing for one and a half years my dreams also have revved up over the past week or so.

Culminating last night in a dream ripe for analysis, Read More »

06:58 AM | 0 Comments
December 22

love knee, hate bad gristle!

My lovely Aero is having the pain removed from a knee as I type (well, tap on the blackberry).

The exciting part is she tells me for recovery Derrik may be the key! Woo Hoo!

09:40 AM | 0 Comments
December 12

Goodbye Galina hello birthday

I was really touched yesterday to learn more about the life of Galina Vishnevskaya with the sad news of her passing.

Larger than life as all opera divas ought to be she had a special relationship with Britten's war requiem - he had composed the piece with her voice in mind, effectively writing what was to be a haunting and ground breaking work dedicated to her.

Read More »
07:41 AM | 0 Comments
December 10
bearattable.jpeg

Bears at my table?

OK so this was weird.... I began with a search for quotations to back me up on an allegation I felt like making about the nature of all psychiatrists (somewhat anti-psychiatric).

I turned up nada, but a couple of gems were both from Malcolm Rogers (never did find out if he is the Dr 'Mack' Portera Rogers or not)

  • "The science of Psychiatry is now where the science of Medicine was before germs were discovered"

  • “A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free”

Around here I fell off into the wonderful world of Wikipedia for around half an hour...

Read More »
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December 09

Marriages and mobiles

A thrilling weekend for many reasons. Most noteworthy giving notice of my marriage next May to the wonderful, inimitable Aero!

Read More »
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November 29
wrenchchain.jpg

I have had Anne analyst and here is her present.

I tried to present myself,
but that was too hard;

so here is part of a bicycle,
not mine I hasten to add.

It is in some remarkable packaging that once held a remarkable object
An origami bike spanner - imagine that!

Read More »
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November 24

If death disturbs, think on it...

Believe it or not thinking of Jimmy Saville and the fact of his death and influences spreading there from startled me from my bed.

I lie - it was thinking of my childhood and my father that had me in the sweats tonight. But I do not find the comparison so odious nor so hard to make (of course this would disgust my father and indeed my family, but what of that?).

Read More »
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November 20
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Sunday ride last week...

So, I had a great ride out to the "Woldingham Viewpoint" and although it was not Caterham on the Hill as I had planned I was pleased enough and making my way home on a sort of 55 minute time trial...

Read More »
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October 27
quinces.jpg

A Good Start in the kitchen

There cannot be much more evocative than smells in the kitchen, and I hope for some readers this picture will evoke special smells. The cafetiere and butter dish in the background are smells one might readily recognise, but in the foreground is another. Read More »

09:06 AM | 0 Comments | Tags: , ,
October 22

Nice sweet starter

"Whole Buttered" Onion Soup

Here's a radical new way to make onion soup. There's no slicing, dicing, or stirring. Instead, whole buttered onion bake for 4 hours, oozing luscious juices that caramelize like toffee. Read More »

05:18 AM | 0 Comments | Tags: , , ,
October 14
hillsign.png

Hitting the wall?

Recently I've found myself first approaching a fifteen or sixteen percent climb I knew was a mild challenge to see how it felt on my Dawes, then when that went well I came across a sixteen or eighteen percent, and managed that which felt really good - but on my last ride I found one like the picture, a twenty percent (one in five for the old school) drop, and have to admit I baulked at first

Read More »
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October 09
kmc-x899-8-speed-chain.jpg

Chains and teething pains

Had a rather wonderful weekend, and much of it relates to cycling, but not in an exclusive way (I hope!). Finally got around to washing both Derek and Voyager, which was well overdue. Derek had also worn his chain through, and a replacement KMC 99, per the picture, had been bought and was fitted on the Sunday.

Read More »
07:14 AM | 1 Comment | Tags: , , , ,
October 02

Feel what I feel

I cannot help thinking it is a fundamental striving of humankind to try and communicate to another how one feels.

And to be told and to acknowledge the impossibility of this - therein lies suffering - this is where Sartre was when he said "Hell is other people" surely?

Perhaps I make too much of it, but I'm not sure. I want to think about this more....

12:30 AM | 1 Comment
September 26
HHvelodrome.jpeg

Last night I took advantage of the last night of the year when I could take my road bike to Herne Hill Velodrome for a spell on the track. I arrived early in the foolish hope that I'd be able to get more time on the track, only to find a school session with track bikes was beginning, so since road and track bikes simply do not mix I had to wait my turn. Read More »

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September 21

Didactic is dying, long live Reading!

see the link , Now I really have no excuse for not being more diligent in my reviewing of my reading and so forth - who knows, perhaps there may even be a revival in the commenting, and accessibility of my writing blog? It is a work in progress, but that is my aim.

05:21 AM | 0 Comments
September 10
leftside.jpg

isn't she lovely?

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rearview.jpg

will you look at the back tyre on that!

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September 05

Step Zero

Hello, my name is Paul And my father is an alcoholic (hit the wall)

I dream of my father's death and it is still his problem (take a breath)

Hello my name is Paul And my mother is dead (hit the nail on the head)

Read More »
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