bye bye analyst hello dreams

seems that as I roll closer to t he end of January and my conclusion with the analyst I have been seeing for one and a half years my dreams also have revved up over the past week or so.

Culminating last night in a dream ripe for analysis, as I felt frustration and anxiety by turns trying to read my poems to a group of women and joining in with some sort of society where we had to ramble out and a false leader led us all astray on account of being driven by a need for money and security.... Hard to describe, but on waking I had a profound sense of insight into the issues I am struggling with in a deepish depression and much malaise about my work.

Combined with the culmination of putting on around twenty pounds, enough to make me ashamed to ride DG at all. What's worse I am not even getting out on Voyager, and although weather, child care, and work are all "reasons" it is not like e to avoid riding and allow the excuses to lead me back to the car.

Maybe I should cut myself some slack - but the weight gain is especially disturbing, since some small measures had been taken since January to at least halt the slide, and apparently these have been ineffective and my weight continues to climb in the face of depression and the new meds, perhaps =- one of the side effects I am NOT PREPARED TO SUFFER. So frustrating that the only way to verify things like this are so long term...

Also frustrating that I amusing a tiny Bluetooth keyboard in the kitchen and results are many many typos.... Still a useful device but cannot afford to work with it in the kitchen other than as a shorthand device for emergency mutimedia navigation

06:58 AM | 0 Comments